Sometimes, like the last couple of weeks, I can feel that something is transforming on a deep level. Something is releasing, my body is restructuring, and there is – what feels like – a cellular shift that is taking place. There are times when psychological processing educates healing. Other times, transformation seems to happen energetically without a lot of conscious awareness as to what is really taking shape and form. When the latter happens, I find that the time following a shift can be confusing. I can feel like I’m in flux, floating without a tether, and not quite sure which direction to take. I can sense that some of my old ways of being no longer fit, yet they seem to be all that I know.
The last week leads me to ask: How do we integrate change? What can we do to embrace living the transformations we experience? How do we expand and nurture the joy and light of healing by allowing that to inform us in the present? How do we let go of old patterns that no longer suit our current frame of reference without forcing new ones into place or simply substituting a new one for the old?
I have mentioned before how we all have different coping styles. In my observations, I see two basic types: One maintains the bigger picture in the short term, and then may struggle with the details in the long term. Others may get caught up in the detail of the immediate and incorporate an expanded view as time goes by. I mention this – again – because I think if we are aware of our individual styles, it can help us with change.
For me, I tend towards easily focusing on the bigger picture. That can be great for crisis management and/or letting go of the need to grasp for understanding when facing the unknown and greater mysteries of our existence. However, even though I know that healing and genuine transformation is taking place, it doesn’t mean that I understand what to do with that awareness. How do I incorporate healing into my physical existence? What are the details – or actions – that integrate change?
Obviously, I do not have the answers. I try to remember to create space for change, and continually – like a broken record – remind myself that I have a choice. I can choose to remain tied to my old ways of being or I can attempt something new. This isn’t easy. I’ve never met anyone who thought change was easy. But, if we don’t try, then what’s the point? Healing requires us to act in some manner. Otherwise, we may was well remain stuck, attached to our limited ways of being and thinking, and delude ourselves into thinking that is all there is. That is all we are. That is who we are. And that is not how I choose to be.
I do not know where my path of transformation will take me. It can be too easy to dismiss or discount healing as not being that meaningful when our lives don’t seem to reflect change externally. Internally, I know better. Peace prevails and expands its presence as an ongoing awareness. With each healing, a little more light, joy, and well-being shine through. I am lighter. My life is lighter.
Even though my life may not appear to be any different to those who are around me, I keep the faith and trust that it is. My life has meaning whether another perceives that or not. It is up to us as individuals to decide our fate, and our fate may not resemble anything that we’ve known before. Our path may not make sense, match the values we were taught, or resemble what others think it should. But, our path is ours to claim and create. Our individuality and uniqueness is a birthright of incarnation and being human.
Which leads me to ask: Am I really confused about how to integrate healing, or am I still looking at my life through old and worn out lenses? Maybe it’s simply time for new glasses. Maybe I don’t even need corrective lenses anymore.