I’m OK!

Sometimes life can become inundated with influences that go beyond our “normal” range of reality. Work becomes stressful and requires extra hours of input; crisis presents itself and takes time to recede; any variety of things can happen that generate a shrinking of our personal space in an ongoing manner. Initially, one response may be to simply ride out the storm and wait to reclaim our space. In the interim, we may recognize a stress response and simply reassure ourselves that we will tend to it later. Our well-being can become something that we “don’t have the time” and energy to tend to. The discomfort of stress can become something that we hope we can massage away instead of a genuine gathering of energy. Being centered and grounded can seem like a daunting task that isn’t achievable in these circumstances, so how do we come back to center?

As I mentioned in a previous blog, I’ve had landscape construction going on at my home. After almost two weeks, we had a one day break from the project. My response was: What a relief! As much as I was happy for the project to be progressing, at some point I realized that I needed some time free of the intrusion. At first, I thought “I’ll tend to some things that I’m more comfortable doing without someone here.” What I quickly realized was that I had allowed the energy of the previous weeks to disrupt me to a point of needing to spend quality time regrouping. Centering, grounding, and most importantly, digesting the energy of the previous weeks! So, instead of exercising, I soaked in a long bath. Soaking with Epsom salts and something soothing like lavender can greatly facilitate moving energy out. I have learned that it’s not just about trying to ground and center, but we also need to digest energy so it can be released and cleared. Then, I gently find my way back to center.

Digesting energy can be a process. I usually start with meditating which helps clear my emotional and mental bodies. When we reframe, process, and/or release psychologically and spiritually, we set the stage for our physical body to move out toxins, digest, and heal. Afterward, resources like soaking in a bath, acupuncture, massage, energy work, and so on can more easily affect lasting release. It’s not a linear process but a holistic one. If we continue to treat something on a physical level only, odds are that the issue will simply return. It can be helpful to recognize the difference between stress management – which addresses short term relief – and genuine healing which facilitates transmutation.

For me, one aspect of feeling off center is the disruption to my personal space. As I move into another week of construction, I am trying to learn and grow from the opportunity of the disruption. Instead of hooking into my usual denials and avoidance, I am attempting to uncover and heal another aspect of my psyche and soul. As I meditated this morning, I observed that underneath the superficial layer of avoidance was a calm realization: I’m OK! I don’t need to hide, run away, or lay low. I can simply be me. It’s enough, I am enough, and I can center in acceptance. I can let the light of my soul shine through even if there are strangers banging away in my yard. I can radiate my light instead of dimming it due to a fear of being seen.

Image by Kevin Cole

It’s silly really. I know there is nothing to hide from or any rational “reason” to lay low. But, I also know that genuine healing rarely embodies being rational. In truth, I have been reasonable throughout the whole process. I trust and have confidence in our contractor, I know the project is hugely beneficial, and I am filled with gratitude. The opportunity to heal myself as our property is being repaired is one that I appreciate in spite of personal discomfort. However, regardless of my practicality, I am aware that an aspect of my being is avoiding some aspect instead of confronting the discomfort.

So, I choose the path of healing by observing and bringing my awareness back to the moment. I create space for deep release. Transmutation manifests even with the presence of persistent influences pushing in on my personal space.

As I soak in the peace and freedom of healing, I honor the process. Healing can be messy work. We tear down, rebuild, and clean up. Sometimes it’s in our face and other times it’s like a calm breeze. Yet, there is always an opportunity for light to shine through. As a reminder of this, a gift presents itself in the midst of the chaos. Right outside our front door there are house finches building a nest in a wall planter. The gentleness of life presents itself. I remember that with each step of our path, we can strengthen our soul’s presence. Our lives heal as we heal. We are OK.

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