Healing Separation Anxiety

Image by Ray MacLean

Frequently, I use the term soul. What that means to me is that aspect of us that is directly related to the source of all that is. The essence of all living things that never dies, is interconnected to all beings everywhere – sentient or not – and is centered in unlimited potential, infinite healing, and an expanded awareness. In what some may view as a contrast, we also have an ego, personality, or psyche whose foundation is built on conditioning, survival, and responses. Both aspects – ego and soul – are vital to our well-being.

Our egos are not something to overcome, transcend, or rise above. Our personalities not only protect us with basic primal responses, but they provide a venue for us to express ourselves. Creativity may be inspired by spirit and soul, but the ability to articulate inspiration comes from our individual persona. Our physical existence creates an opportunity to give voice to our soul. I’m not saying that is why we incarnate as human beings – I have no idea why that is – but I do believe that regardless of whatever divine purpose propels us to embody physical form, the human experience is one filled with opportunity. Opportunity to create, heal, experience humanity, be happy and have fun!

I consider genuine healing to be that which expands our awareness, allows us to be more mindful, and creates space for our soul’s presence. The more we gather our soul’s energy, ground those aspects into our being, and center in balanced awareness, the greater the opportunity to manifest healing in our lives as an ongoing process. For me, integrating soul awareness with my personality is the greatest opportunity. As I seek a path of genuine service, I consider my ego as a venue to voice my soul’s intention. However, in order for this to happen, I know I must let go of my psyche’s illusions of separation and embrace that I am deserving of respect and loving kindness by starting within. An open heart requires courage to give our spirit and soul a conscious voice. We can learn to balance our personality and soul awareness by bearing witness to our pain and taking ownership of our suffering.

As we open our hearts, we may still be faced with the challenge of feeling a sense of separation. We may feel anxious or threatened over the thought of potential loss. We may feel alone and unsupported. The potential for pain and suffering may seem like something that we simply cannot and do not want to bear. However, if we do not bear witness to ourselves, we will not heal. And, if we do not heal, we can remain in an ego driven state that is centered in survival based on fight or flee and an avoidance of pain and suffering. We will remain deluded by the illusion that the answers we seek are held externally.

The prospect of separation anxiety is linked to an internal disconnect with our souls. This can manifest as a fear that seeks to avoid our root pain by associating our suffering with external causes. In other words, when our egos are disconnected from soul awareness, we are experiencing a deep sense of separation. This sense of separation, even though unconscious, can lead to grasping for some thing or person to fill the void. In an attempt to lessen the anxiety of loneliness, it can be too easy to look to another person, place, or thing to ease our sense of isolation and disconnect. Seeking gratification externally as an end to our suffering only serves to continue the pain. The only true way to heal a sense of disconnect is to connect within. Then, we can integrate the fragments into wholeness.

When we allow for soul awareness, a sense of separation vanishes. Healing takes place as we transform and release suffering and anxiety into compassionate acceptance. Loving kindness finds a voice when we show ourselves the same respect that we hope will come from another. The more we heal a deep root of separation from all that is, our soul, and our psyches, the greater the opportunity for experiencing a sense of interconnectedness with all things. Cooperation and community can be embraced as a shared human experience. Underlying motivations to serve and protect ourselves from exposure to our root pain can give way to authentic caring, respect, and loving kindness. Peace and well-being prevail as we lift the burden we place on one another to heal us, by healing ourselves. That is why I say: Heal your soul, heal your life!


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