Chasing Down the Root of Unworthiness

seedlings
Image by me’nthedogs

It seems that there is almost a universal message: As human beings, we share common ground when it comes to feelings of unworthiness and not being deserving of genuine joy and happiness. For me, the theme has become so common and widespread that whenever I witness suffering – whether of my own making or another’s – I automatically tend to wonder: Is the root pain simply a lack of worth? Is the suffering an old and familiar acquaintance dressed as Mara who beckons us to question our value? The answer is usually yes!

In nature, a seed is planted, roots sprout, and life springs forth. In a similar fashion, we plant the seed of human experience with our souls and all that is. Our lives sprout and grow as we inhabit human form. I think we are like nature. All that is, the divine, or whatever you choose to call it, sows the seed of unlimited potential in the finite of physical form. Most likely, the seed has no idea what it will grow to be, and the possibilities are endless.

As with humans, plants vary in shape and form. The trunk may be thick or thin, the leaves can be a diverse range of size and color, but the roots have the same goal. Anchor, soak in nutrients and provide the foundation for life above to reach its potential. In a similar fashion, the divine provides the seeds, our souls provide the roots, and our lives grow. The choices we make provide the sustenance that shapes the form our life path takes.

To me, one of the ultimate challenges of being human is trying to balance the duality of the infinite and finite. Within the flux of energy, ongoing change, and constant movement, is the reality of life and death. Nothing is permanent. Our bodies will decay and die, our lives will change, and whether we seek it or not, we will change. We can feed ourselves with light and embrace unlimited potential, or we can keep ourselves in the dark attempting to hide and avoid fears and doubts.

Many healers and spiritual masters have commented on how we will face a core fear as we progress on a path of awakening. At some point, growth will bring a terrifying sense of opening to our genuine selves, love, and light. A young sprout that is unaccustomed to direct sunlight can burn if it receives too much light. Maybe some aspect of us lacks confidence in our ability to stand in divine light? We convince ourselves that the light will burn and harm us, or that we are not strong enough to stand in it, so we stay in the dark instead. We put on our sunblock, hats, and dark glasses in order to dim our awareness of what is right in front of us: Opportunity. Not the new age “lesson” kind. The real opportunity is to open to the light of loving kindness that is offered regardless of whether we see it or not.

I have often wondered: Is there an aspect of soul awareness that is fearful of being separated from all that is? And, does the human experience represent a sort of separation due to the finite aspects of physical existence? If so, then perhaps the root of unworthiness is linked to a questioning of our ability to be enough, to be of value, when feeling separated from all that is.

Can we survive being buried in the finite instead of reaching to the infinite? Our souls and spirits may, but our physical existence will pay the price. In reality, we never really are separate and nothing is genuinely fixed. Even though we may feel alone sometimes, I do not think that it’s possible to separate from our interconnectedness.

I can only imagine that somehow we misinterpreted a sign from our soul along the way. Like markers on a highway, instead of steering us off road, they are meant to direct us on our way. Our doubts, fears, and lack of worth may simply be a guiding light to the source. When we question our worth or value as individual beings, it can be a chance to look at the map, expand our awareness, and navigate to our authentic selves.

If we dig down, we will find our roots. When we shine love and light on ourselves, we blossom. When we flourish, we support all life. A sense of separation vanishes as we embrace our genuine selves. We are all deserving of joy and happiness! It’s the illusionary finite that tells us we’re not deserving or good enough. The infinite knows better.

 

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